Johnny Clams' First Annual Mafia Awards for Outstanding Shadiness

Y'know I see a lot of guys out there smart enough to talk their way outta anything. But you gotta say sometimes there's no wise guy like Eds.

The guy's open claim of Voldemort and the post that made it got so downright notorious that there ain't a mafiosi that don't know about it, and it's enough to earn him both Best Play and Best Post.

Now, tonight ain't just gonna be about the big cheese. We're also talkin' about the fellas who made their way up after startin' out as prime fish food material.

Riddy started out as a guy who'd look as guilty as sin and nothing more. These days, well, he still looks guilty as sin, but he can also call it dead right too. Then there's Raide, who after a - ahem - involuntary hiatus, let's say - came back as one of the top dogs after a lousy start.

Give 'em both a big hand, as they share the Most Improved award.

But it's a team game, this rat race, and when it's a group of guys running the place like the towndid in Jurassic Park Mafia, well, there ain't a dime gonna be bet against that for the Best Town Performance.

And of course, there are those bad guys who really give the cops a lesson. It's been a good few years since I heard of the Netherrealm from Mortal Kombat Mafia spoken of out loud, that's the reputation they get around here. Please, take the Best Mafia Performance award and, with the greatest respect, leave, you're scaring off the broads.

 

It ain't all glory in these games. Sometimes things happen that are just plain old dumb and sometimes we get more than a little angry. The Shadies recognise both the highs and the lows of cricsim's favourite pastime and those lows can be so very, very low.

Take for example the mafias performance in Lord of the Rings I or the Towns performance in Lord of the Rings II both were so bad im not even gonna talk about it. Award winningly bad groups.

The award for the Worst Post came across some stiff competition. Some people have said some pretty stupid things. But you voted and the most face palming, hugest error ever made in a single post by a single member goes to Slyza.

It was an absolute comedy of errors. His team was doing alright, there was some confusion in town as there had been a heck of a lot of fringe characters in the game in LOTR II. Slyza gets put under a little heat and is forced to make a claim.

And what does he do? He claims someone who was known to be in the game. Their name was actually etched into the first post of the game thread's tombstone.

It didn't seem to take long for Slyza to realise his mistake either as he was quick to edit his post before Howe the game's creator made it clear that Slyza had claimed to be an already dead character. Considering the fate he had just sealed himself with that post, it was a pretty accurate claim.

The Worst Play was more than just a single mistake, it often reflects a prolonged mistake by either an individual or a group. It can either be epitomised by a single stupid post or by a whole series of errors that work to lose the game.

Our first winner of the Worst Play goes to those silly sods who failed to realise they were being served up a stinking load of bullshit by Athlai. You all voted for Town not lynching Athlai after TKP's death as being the worst play ever.

Sure it was a clever play he made but it had long gone past the point of his claim holding to any scrutiny. The whole bloody point of TKP getting lynched in the first place was to narrow down the list of targets to being either himself or Athlai. But instead like fools fumbling in the dark covered in jelly, town got stuck to all the wrong things and went to all the wrong places. For shame, for shame.

Sometimes though awards need a little bit of accountability and an individual performance needs to come under scrutiny for its terribleness. The award for the Worst Town Performance as a Player represents when a fella just could absolutely do nothing right.

The winner of this perhaps had a character completely fitting of receiving this award. Jar Jar Binks is after all, incomptenet. But the reason McGrath as Jar Jar Binks won this award is that he failed to read between the lines and realise his character was an idiot. Which then made him an idiot. He took his reports at face value and more than a few hands came into contact with exasperated foreheads as a result.

The Worst Mafia Performance as a Player coincidentally comes from the same game. It's a moment that has already risen to infamy in mafia history. The moment a man who under no pressure at all went and accidentally told everyone he was a a bad guy. Our winner of this particular worst is of course TheShiv as General Grevious. It'd probably have been more fitting if he'd told you this one himself.

Finally the final award in this particular semblance of worsts is the award for the most rage. We've seen a lot of ravings across a whole range of character over the course of these games. Personal arguments to retirement announcements. More than a few Toys have been tossed out of the pram in Cricsim's mafia history. The award for The Best 'Toys Out of the Pram' Moment was one of the most hotly fought battles of all.

The eventual winner though was the rants and ravings of Skippos in the build up to getting lynched in Battlestar Galactica. Skippos has had more than a few rage moments in these games but this particular series of posts truly took the cake. He had been advised in the game to lay low because his character was one to be naturally accused of being suspicious.

Instead towards the end of the game Skippos placed himself in a central role and then when the tide began to turn, he simply blew up. Personal insults, wider abuse and an overwhelming sense of superiority peppered his posts. Others didn't have the BSG knowledge he claimed. Others were idiots he claimed.

It was wonderful. Beautiful. Ruined peoples games and made other peoples days. The pure venom of the vitriol he spilled was worthy of making history. Rules have even been changed so that a player can't quite throw that many punches in a game as Skippos did in BSG. Due to the remarkable change this event made on the cricsim mafia landscape this award will now hereby be known as "The Skippos Award". Hopefully we'll see far more Skippossing in the future from both the man himself and other rage filled players.