Random Wikipedia Royal Rumble

One more!

 

Det er fem!

 

Nobody in the ring knew what to expect with an honest to God Prime Minister arriving to the ring, and even Hasso and Louis took a break from monstering Ellison to watch him warily.

After a moment of tension, Ben Jones signaled his intentions as he did the numbers and attacked Ellison with a big boot to the face as he and The Germans went about putting a beating on the racer.

It was a politically astute decision, but Ellison, ever the fighter, tried to surge his way out of the corner by leveling Hasso with a right hand. Looking for some leverage, he bounced off the ropes and looked to take out all three men with a crossbody - but he was caught and then dumped over the ropes!

Elimination 3: Dean Ellison

Rubbing the back of his neck, Ellison knew he'd gone down the way he would have wanted to - taking a risk. The attention, however, turned to the PM who quickly calculated that he had not made the best political move of his life by being reduced to a 2-on-1 battle against The Germans. Maybe this was why he was only PM for a year?!

That is this rumble's first, and hopefully last, foray into political commentary.

The Germans, too, had realised this number advantage and looked to keep their alliance in tact. They took too long to move, though, as the buzzer sounded to signal the rival of #6. Would it be a game changer?

Probably not. Thierry Van Werveke's entry was marked by a, uh, Luxembourgish Eurovision entry. General artistic snob Harry Hasso died a little bit inside.

Harry Hasso (1)
Louis, Landgrave of Hesse-Philippsthal (2)
Ben Jones (0)
Thierry Van Werveke (0)

 

I think Eurovision might have peaked with that song, ftr.

 

Get rid of Hasso.

 

Judging by The Undertaker's career, it is not a bar to success.

 

Changing my vote to Ben Jones due to his rather ordinary name.

 

Not taking a shine to van Werveke.

 

I see your Loreen, and raise you Winny Puhh:

<iframe width="560" height="315" src="http://www.youtube.com/embed/pqr7Y5dV0p8" frameborder="0" allowfullscreen></iframe>

 

There's a lull in the crowd - unfortunately Howe's long vigil on the edge of his seat meant that the police were called and he had to be escorted away from the bus stop for loitering.

While he managed to iron out the misunderstanding eventually and return to the arena, it has clearly left many people in the arena uneasy and unsure about what to do next.

 

Do Finland and Estonia have a sort of cross-Baltic absurdity contest?

 

Anyway as a good socialist my vote obviously goes to the corrupt Landgrave of fuck-knows-where.

 

Teutonic supremacy must end, but I feel the Landgrave has some mileage left.

Hasso

 

To his credit, Van Werveke wasted no time running down to the ring hoping to join the action. Proving that there's more to Luxembourg than just cheap beer and cigarettes, he looked to even up the numbers by joining forces with Jones against the German pairing! Grenada and Luxembourg? Small countries unite!

Louis and Hasso, gelling well as a team, still looked the goods early as they managed to work on Jones and Van Werveke in opposite corners. The action was slow and sluggish as both men tried to eliminate their opponent, but an attempted Irish whip from both was reversed -- and the Landgrave and Hasso collided!

Sensing an opportunity, Jones, the politician that he is, grabbed the Landgrave's rifle from him and sent it flying out of the ring! "Goodness gracious! Business has just picked up!" screamed Farren Jr. The mere mention of business finally got the attention of evil capitalist Heckschner who got off the phone and returned to calling the action.

With the match evenly poised at 2v2, the question was what impact #7 would have on proceedings. The first woman of the Rumble came down to the ring to a dubstep remix of the Thai and Scottish anthems - it was actress Eilidh MacQueen!

Harry Hasso (2)
Louis, Landgrave of Hesse-Philippsthal (3)
Ben Jones (1)
Thierry Van Werveke (1)
Eilidh MacQueen (0)

 

I was gonna get rid of Jones due to a boring name but I like his opportunism.

Keeping my vote on Hasso.