Next Everton manager...

The moment you get a team promoted to the Premier League is probably the optimum time to leave.

 

European football is the target.

 

Well yeah, there's no hard and fast rule, but he wouldn't be getting linked with the Everton job this time next year if Cardiff bomb in the Premier League.

 

John Barnes is available

 

McAteer as assistant?

 

Now that you mention it...

 

As an avatar.

 

Fuck off and die

 

Well next time don't make retarded bets.

 

Mancini looks like he could be available...

 

So furball why would you have mccoist sacked

 

Short answer, because he's a fucking shit manager.

Long answer, you have to go to a Rangers game to understand. We play utterly terrible football, we're up against clubs whose players are part-time and train twice a week when they get the time off from their proper jobs, some of whom earn £50 a week, meanwhile McCoist gets a bunch of players, some former internationals, earning thousands of pounds a week and appears to do absolutely no work with them whatsoever. We make the same fucking basic mistakes in defence week in, week out, and we have absolutely fuck all in the way of attacking cohesion or direction - they're two things that any reasonably competent manager would be able to sort on the training ground.

As a club we're going nowhere fast (well, we'll get successive promotions but I reckon beating a quadroplegic in a 100m sprint would be a better achievement), and he constantly moans about this transfer ban and bemoans the need to get more bodies in. Meanwhile the lackeys in the media make up all sorts of bullshit excuses for him, such as how the team is full of kids (it isn't; Dortmund's semi final team that cuffed Real Madrid was younger than our team which lost at home to fucking Peterhead) or how poor Ally has to make do with a bunch of free transfers (just like every other fucking manager in Scotland; and funnily enough I don't remember Klopp bemoaning the fact that his goalkeeper, right back and defensive midfielder were all free transfers either.)

The idea that as a manager he can actually coach and improve the players he's got at his disposal seems to be beyond him; his solution to everything is to just buy players, and if that doesn't work then try buying some more. We're making no plans for the long term, our strategy for the future is simply "buy SPL quality players for Division 2." He even admitted in an interview that the training the players hasn't changed much in 30 years, which is frightening.

Does that answer your question?

 

No tell me more

 

And the worst thing is that he's my boyhood hero, the man I consider the greatest ever Ranger, and who was responsible for single-handedly holding the club together in our darkest year. I want McCoist to succeed more than anything else in the world.

But he just doesn't have what it takes.

 

But in seriousness it's a strange old situation isn't it. You've smashed your league yet arguably still performed below expectations.

 

Smashing our league means nothing.

And I could forgive some of the results if he had a bunch of hungry young players playing good football. Occasionally weird results happen in football.

Gretna won the 3rd division by winning 32 and drawing 2 of their 36 games. We're not even the top points scorers in Scotland, which when you consider the complete disparity in resources between ourselves and the opposition we face (seriously, East Stirlingshire pay their players £50 a week and only maintain a squad of 18 players - they lose players to Junior teams who can pay more money) is a complete fucking joke.

And seriously, the football we play is so, so, so bad. Going to the games is a chore, and I can't believe I'm saying that when this time last year I didn't even know if I'd have a team to follow this season. But there's literally nothing to get excited about going to the games. If it wasn't for teams like Dortmund then I'd seriously be falling out of love with the game.