The Brudenell Social Rugby Football Club Est. 1904 ~ Captained, Coached, Managed, Selected, Publicised and Founded by Jake "Hackneyed Flanker" Howe ~ Squad 1. Os du Toit (Crabs) 2. Ryan Gee (Vikings) 3. Dave Eggman (Spartans) 4. Jason Denton (Hurricanes) 5. Peter Retzel (Vikings) 6. Geriant Martyn (Crabs) 7. Jake Howe (c) (Crabs) 8. Pretzel Spark (Crabs) 9. Sam Bakkum (Sharks) 10. Matt Scoble (Sharks) 11. Daniel Speirs (Crabs) 12. Chuck Faldo (Crabs) 13. Adam Vago (Gamblers) 14. Ben Herd (Gamblers) 15. Bobby Blunder (Spartans)
First to be drafted was legendary Spartans and Britain fullback Bobby Blunder. Much has been done to accommodate the gifted superstar of all Seasonal Rugby levels, including helicoptering in a PS4, two dozen packets of Super Noodles, satin bedsheets, 16 cases of Pilsner Urquell and Imogen Thomas. Upon being asked if Blunder's insistences were a touch too much to pay, a team spokesperson denied pandering. "He's actually very down to earth, the lad," claimed Brudenell recruitment manager Jake Howe, "We had thought we'd have to reserve a whole hotel just for him, but in the end he only insisted on having his own floor."
Jake Howe's position as Brudenell's Senior Criminal Liasons Officer had come into question, but the promotion was considered justified after he sealed a deal to return the notorious Dave Eggman to the rugby field from the Melbourne organised crime scene. Much of the prop's background could be seen during Eggman's first press conference with a Brudenell shirt, during which he claimed any opposition front rower who tried to "fuck him like a bitch" would not leave the pitch in one piece. To illustrate his point, he swallowed a knife.
Champions!!!!!! What a great effort lads. Thank you Howe for picking this team of superstars, happy to have participated and did my job to help us earn this victory!
