Negotiations

I don't know if I can make this thread serious again after maxim's shit, so I won't attempt it.

In short I'm going to be COS of the Bears. Not good news for other clubs, but good for the Bears. Because I don't assemble any old shit, I assemble fucking rad teams, with blokes who can banter it up with the best.

If that isn't you, don't apply. We won't have you.

But if it is, come see me. I don't go chasing signitures, or sluts.

Hell, if you're really what we're looking for, I might get my receptionist to come at you with a big fat cheque. That'll make you sign. And if that's not enough, she'll give you a gobby, too*.

*said gobby may result in you contracting the godmother of all STI's.

 

Torres Decision won't be rushed

Damien Barrett​

Premier Rushed Behinds on baller James Torres is determined to make the right career decision in the coming weeks, but was quick to add that he wouldn't be talked into a quick bail out
"The decision will take time, there's offers around for me to continue at this level and on going talks with the rushed behinds, theres certain matters that need to be talked through and that won't just happen overnight"
After spending time with his family on holiday Torres could find himself with a lot more of that if he does decide to walk from the game.

Football statistician and Triple M commentator Ash Chua went on record stating it would make his job a lot easier with the amount of stats that a regular Torres game produces, but would be a great loss to the game.
"He's a superstar and certainly makes me work hard with how often he has the ball, but him leaving the game would be a huge loss to the sport, I don't think its the right time"
Torres was twice checked into hospital for leather poisoning last season.

Reports of close friend TFLUA-Tiger contacting Torres immediately after taking the reigns at the bears to get his first marquee signing have since been found untrue, however the rumors of Torres leading the bears out in season 3 won't go away. It's looking less and less likely that Torres and Morgan will be able to resolve their obvious underlying issues after Torres was benched in their all important season 2 Grand Final.

More to follow when more news comes to hand.

 

And back to me. Come to the Bears, cunts.

11 players signed now, and I can feel the rest of the competition begin to tremble.

*insert some horrid joke about how yo mama trembles when i'm inside her here*

We're bringing banter back, and the rest of the competition won't know what's hit it.

Who do you want to play for? The schoolyard bully, or the wimpy little kid with pimples who gets beat up all the time.

Join us, and smash cunts. It'll be a blast.