Autumn Internationals

He suffers from Crouch's Palsy. Discovered in (c)2010 by pioneering movementologist, me, Crouch's Palsy (named for its first recorded sufferer - Peter Crouch) is an affliction whose symptoms manifest in an aura of "spacker-ticity".

For example, when Mat Tait fields a long kick and runs back towards the advancing defence, in his mind he evokes the spirit of a lithe gazelle, confident in its ability to evade the pitiless, on-rushing lions. In reality I always overlay him with the image of a panicking muppet: hair sticking out in all directions, arms up in the air, bobbing up and down, side-to-side and with a mild look of terror written across his face.

As an undiagnosed sufferer throughout my sporting career I know that we misfortunate few have to be at least 25% better than normal folk in order to succeed.

 

Henry Slade healed a leper when he scored his try against Connacht the other day.

Just sayin'.

 

I think Tait's England career is probably done now. There are better options his age, with more FB experience in Brown and Foden. Goode being younger. Then there's upcoming players they'll be looking at like Watson and Nowell. Add in Pennell's selection last year, and the ability of someone like May/Cipriani/Slade to cover 15.

He's quite a conservative player now in my book too. Will likely give him a few good years at Tigers though, assuming he can stay fit.

 

I also think that we've almost thrown away a generation or 2 of players since 2003 and the next lot to really push are the guys who have come through the U20s in the last few years and are more used to success than older guys.

 

Which players did we lose? I always thought Tait would come through at some stage but he got injured at the wrong times, lost form and was moved around the backline (I preferred him a s a centre). JSD? Perma-crocked. Varndell?

The U20 lads seem to me to be on another level in terms of coaching. There's even evidence of flair. Fucking flair!

 

Ollie Smith, Mat Tait, Luke Narraway, Anthony Allen (contentious though)

However, for each of them there is a good reason why it didn't happen. Displacing Jamie Noon/Mike Tindall was something two of them could have achieved regardless of coaches playing favourites. But they had injuries and loss of form at critical points.

 

Narraway was a funny one. Had that great (relative to everyone else) tour of NZ with Tom Rees and the Hask and then turned up to the next England camp short of fitness and got binned.

Would he have kept Easter out anyway?

 

Easter's a funny one, despite being a player I admire and probably one of the better EQP 8's around still. Thought he would slide to lock and retire a couple of years ago, but he's still doing the business.

That said, he had those sort of English yeoman qualities that we so admire in a back row, Worsley and Corry for instance. Narraway didn't, he was more of a Croft style back row. Possibly the sort of player we could use in a year or two when a tight five are properly established.

I remember NZers saying after that tour that they could do a lot with Tait and Narraway. They might have managed it too.